Overwhelmingly Blessed

When Andrew and I first were married, we wanted a big family! Like four kids... or so... :)

Of course, things like that always change once you realize how expensive having children are and how much time it takes to take care of them. But, for us, those things changed once we started having miscarriages. There was a point where we (Andrew especially) had resolved ourselves to having just one baby. That was definitely not at all what I wanted. I just begged God, please just one more baby, please...

When we got pregnant the first time, there was this bad feeling in the back of my mind, but I just kept saying we were so blessed and would be continued to be blessed. Then we lost that baby. And we lost the next one. But boy was I right about how blessed we were!

Because then... Avery came along. A little miracle, but at the time we never thought about how much of a miracle she really was.

Three miscarriages later, we found out I had a septate uterus - a uterus with a septum (band of tissue) dividing it down the center (partially, not completely). The septum has no blood flow, so when a fertilized egg attaches to it (the area that most fetuses are attached is the back, which is where the septum was located), it can't thrive, causing multiple miscarriages.

We also found out that our doctor, a reproductive endocrinologist in St. Louis at Wash U, had never seen a patient that had a septum and had delivered a baby in the third trimester. It explained why Avery was breech and early. But it didn't explain the complete miracle she was. See, the doctor said that technically Avery attached to the "wrong" part of the uterus - but for us, that was the RIGHT part. THAT is a complete miracle. And that's probably why a septum was never caught earlier. With an almost term baby, it was probably not a thought in anyone's mind.

And then we had the surgery to get the septum removed. Even though our doctor was certain we would carry to term, I still had my reservations. And I was petrified. But here Hadley is, a perfectly healthy 8 pound baby that was born the day before her due date. Another little miracle and blessing.

My heart is so full of love for these two, and we are so so blessed. I can't imagine my life being much better than it is now. I wish I could get a snapshot of what Hadley will look like in a year or two, and how she and Avery will act together. I don't want that time to sneak up on me so quickly - hence, just a quick snapshot into the future. :) I would like things to slow down for the most part. I know it will be no time and Hadley will be talking back to me. ;)

Sometimes, when I look at both of the girls, I get this overwhelming urge to cry. Just burst into tears of joy for how much I love them. I will honestly get goosebumps when I stare at them, thinking of all of the ways we are blessed. God truly does awesome things if you let him.