...and she goes.

My baby started kindergarten this week. She just finished up her first week there... I still haven't really processed it yet and I haven't shed any tears over it yet (surprisingly).

We met Tiny Dancer's teacher Monday night. We LOVE her! And then she went for her first day on Tuesday. She got a little teary-eyed and she told me she was scared, but we left. She told me later that she loved it. And everyday she continues to love it. She likes the cafeteria food too, which is good since she's so picky!

I pulled out some baby toy's that were Tiny Dancer's for the kids I babysit. I specifically remembered picking this particular toy out and buying it for her. Back when it was only her. She was the only child and the only grandchild. I started reminiscing about when we only had 1 child. We had money and we had it easy. We went and did whatever we wanted with Tiny Dancer in tow.

But I stopped that train of thought and thought about NOT having Little Monster and The Baby. I didn't like that feeling.

Those 2 have rounded out our family in ways I could have never imagined.

Sure, we don't have a lot of money. But I get to stay home all day with my babies. I hope eventually that includes homeschooling them. I don't even know if I would have ever entertained the idea of homeschooling if I was still working. And I wouldn't be a full time stay at home mom if I hadn't had more kids. One kid's childcare was easy, but after that... Little Monster is most of the reason why I am a stay at home mom right now.

And sure it's cause for celebration if I can make a trip to the grocery store with all 3 kids in tow and nobody gets lost or seriously injured, and I come home with at least half of what we needed.... but once they get a little older, that will get easier. And we will have 3 times as much fun as we would have had with only one child.

I don't want my kids to completely define me as a person. It's not fair to me or to them. But when I imagine a life without them, it's a life not as full. Not as beautiful. Not as rich with love and laughter. I thank God everyday for giving them to me. And my goal is to make them the 3 best things that I've ever done in my life.