Breastfeeding... and Parenting

Breastfeeding is such a controversial topic, so I'm not trying to get in a fight with anyone by posting this specific post.
I'll preface this post with how I feel about it. Parenting is a science, and the exact same formula will not work for every parent and every family. Sometimes, I feel like I"m just winging it. You do something one way, it doesn't work for you or your child, so you change it up. Unless you are hurting your children, there's no right or wrong way to parent.
I had some lofty ideas of what parenting would be like when I was in college and even when I was pregnant. Most of things are much different now.
Here is what's important for parenting: if there are 2 of you, make sure you are on the same page (ish). I say ish because as long as you are close in your ideas, you can probably work it out. But co-parenting is hardest when each parent is doing their own very different thing.
Okay, back to breastfeeding. It wasn't until I took a health and growth class in college that I realized how awesome breastfeeding might be. It is not always the right choice for every family. It is not always the right choice for every kid. And it sometimes doesn't even work out for some. But I learned enough in that class to realize, Hey, maybe I do want to try breastfeeding my kids.
I won't go in to how awesome breast milk is specifically. Most of us have heard it. If you haven't, google it.
So, when I was pregnant with Avery, I figured I'd give it a whirl. I bought a few books. Set up a little nursing station in her bedroom (rocker, ottoman, receiving blankets/burp cloths, pump, cd player with soothing music, lamp, book case for miscellaneous reading about breastfeeding of course). My goal was 6 months, then I'd reevaluate then. I always swore I wouldn't breastfeed past one year.
But Avery was born 6 weeks early. And any breastfeeding book will tell you: don't give the baby pacifiers! don't give the baby a bottle! don't supplement with formula! (This is what I gathered from those books anyway.) But my baby in the NICU was given a pacifier right away to evaluate her suck/breathe/swallow action. If she could do that, then she could try to eat. She did it. I started pumping right away, but my body had a hard time realizing what just happened, with the baby coming early. And I was quite alright with them trying to feed her. She got a bottle of formula right away (gasp, I know). And she did great eating. And she gained weight. And she kept her body temperature up. And she was home within 7 days of her birth.
It was worth it. I pumped and when I had milk, we'd feed her that with a bottle. And when I was at the hospital, I would try to breastfeed her. Because her mouth was so tiny, she couldn't latch properly. So we used nipple shields, which I never got her to give up. I breastfed her, along with formula supplementation, for 4 months. 4 months on nipple shields! Once I went back to work, the nipple shield issue plus pumping tanked my supply. So, I quit feeding her myself, because that's what worked for our family. She got frustrated that breastfeeding took too long. I got frustrated that she was so frustrated. And my nerves were shot. And even though I felt a little guilt in quitting... I also felt good for giving it a shot. It was really hard.
So, when I got pregnant with Hadley, I decided I was going to try it again. With a full-term baby. And Hadley got it right away. Even with a c-section, she was breastfeeding within 1 1/2 hours of birth, when she was still alert and figuring out what the heck was going on. She latched right on. It was perfect. She ate every 3 hours and she latched every time. Her latch was shallow, but I had researched and researched latches, since we never had one with Avery, and I knew what to do to correct it. And believe it or not, youtube videos were a big help. If you don't mind watching a complete stranger breastfeed, check them out. Huge help.
I won't lie and say our breastfeeding relationship was the easiest thing ever though, because at about 2 weeks, her latch still wasn't corrected even though she was gaining weight very quickly and eating every 3 hours quite a bit. Incorrect latches HURT. I would dread when she would need to eat and cry, but I knew if I kept it up, we'd get past it. And we did! And after that, our breastfeeding relationship has been the easiest thing EVER. Way easier than buying and preparing formula each time. Granted, I didn't go back to work, so I can't say whether that would have made a difference, but since I'm home, that's what works. She's starting to wean herself now that we introduced milk and she's eating more table foods.
Breastfeeding during teething is also awesome. Did you know breast milk will change based on what's going on with the baby? Yeah, and it's a natural comforter and pain reliever. So, when we hit teething with Avery, our 100% formula-fed baby, it was awful. Lots of crying, restlessness, fits, pain, etc. With very little sleep. And fevers. And drooling.
With Hadley, she just takes shorter naps during the day and she may wake up at night for a feeding. No fevers. Not much crying and fussing. And she rarely acts like she's in pain. Could be the baby. Could be breastfeeding. :)
If you want to breastfeed, you really have to want to. It's work. It's not easy. But it's worth it. Even if you only breastfeed for a week. (Seriously, I learned that in my health & growth class.) But if it's just not something you want to do, I won't think I'm better than you (at least not when it comes to what you're feeding your child.... kidding... maybe). ;) It is a personal choice. But I am telling you there are some major benefits of breastfeeding for your child, and for you. Breastfeeding has allowed me to drop all of my pre-pregnancy weight each time within about 3 weeks. Oh, yeah. Gotta love it. And I definitely plan on doing it again with Carter. And if it doesn't work, I'll know I tried my hardest and move on. Because that's part of parenting too. Moving on and going with the flow. Children will definitely teach you all about that. :)