Today is not June 28th. In fact, it isn't even 2008 anymore, but 2011 (I really almost wrote 2010 - pregnancy brain - we can discuss that later). However, starting this new blog about you made me think about your birth. And June 28th. You're right, you weren't born on June 28th, but June 24th. And you didn't come home from the NICU that day, that was one week after your birth day on July 1st (Mommy & Daddy's 2nd anniversary). Well, what was June 28th? Count it up... 4 days after your birthday. The day I was released from the hospital. The day I got to go home, but you had to stay behind. I'll always remember this day. The sadness started the day before, on Friday the 27th. When I realized what was about to unfold: me and Daddy leaving the hospital with just the things we had accumulated the week we had been there (not a whole lot, you came early and bags were never prepared for the hospital). No baby. She had to stay behind. And when we were set to leave they told us you could be there until your due date, August 4th. That was a pretty traumatic thing to hear. We had prayed so hard for you and now that you were here (and fairly healthy), you were still having to stay behind. Not fair. :( I remember going down to the NICU alone and seeing you under the bili-lights (for jaundice) and I just lost it, realizing what was about to happen. You see, after a baby's born they're supposed to be held and cuddled, while we figure out how you like to be held and when you wanted to eat. The NICU nurses fed you most of your meals, though we tried to be there as often as we could. The NICU nurses rocked you when you cried at night. The NICU nurses knew more about the kind of baby you were than we did. This did not settle well for Mommy. The day we left was heart-crushing. I seriously felt like my heart had up and ran out the door, or just merely stayed behind I suppose. Your Grandma & Grandpa Naylor were nice enough to get me and Daddy a hotel room just a short way away from the hospital that first night, but it still wasn't the same. I had to leave you alone for what I thought would be 5 weeks of pure torture. Fortunately, you were so strong that the next morning they told us to drop off our car seat on Monday as they may try your car seat test sometime that week (you have to have a "car seat test" and pass before you can be sent home). Car seat tests only happen right before you are released, so although we were realistic, we were pretty hopeful you'd be home soon - which turned out to be true. And thank God you were home early. No, really, I thank Him all the time for that. Because I don't know what I would have done if the nurses got to rock you for 5 weeks more often than I did.
So, anyway, June 28th may not be a significant date to others, but it was to me. It was the day I realized I had fallen completely and utterly head over heels in love with you. My unending love for your Daddy is very real, but it was a process. Love with you was a smack-upside-the-head-wow-I-am-s0-in-love-with-you type of love. Crazy. You'll feel it for yourself one day (waaaaay farther into the future, my dear).
I love you more than a million red m&ms, my little sweet.
Love, Mommy
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